Some of the hardest phone calls I had to make to parents while working in the school system was to let them know that their teen was self-harming. It’s alarming news to hear followed by feelings of worry, overwhelm and helplessness. Parents and caregivers wanted to know “why” and there’s never a simple, one-size-fits all answer. I always try to remind parents that the fact this news is no longer hidden is a step in the right direction. It is incredibly brave for a teen to come forward to a trusted adult or friend and share their struggle. Being alone in our pain is a terrible feeling, and once their action is brought into the light, the healing process can begin.
So what can you do if you find out your teen has been cutting/self-harming?
-
Tell them you love them and don’t want them to feel alone anymore. Remind them that you want to help them.
-
If the wounds are severe or the self-harm has been extensive, take them to a hospital where they can receive medical care for the wounds and can have their mental health needs assessed.
-
Find a therapist with experience in self-harm and dialectical behavior therapy. Therapy should be weekly and should include parent education and training.
-
Remove all sharp objects from their room and bathroom – razors, pencil sharpeners, sharp art supplies, needles. Create a check-out plan for razors when teens want to shave.
-
Find support for yourself. You can’t carry the weight of this news/process alone. Model getting support for yourself to your kids!
