Self-Harm
Some of the hardest phone calls I had to make to parents while working in the school system was to let them know that their teen was self-harming. It’s alarming news to hear followed by feelings of worry, overwhelm and helplessness. Parents and caregivers wanted to know “why” and there’s never a simple, one-size-fits all answer. I always try to remind parents that the fact this news is no longer hidden is a step in the right direction. It is incredibly brave for a teen to come forward to a trusted adult or friend and share their struggle. Being alone in our pain is a terrible feeling, and once their action is brought into the light, the healing process can begin.
So what can you do if you find out your teen has been cutting/self-harming?
Tell them you love them and don’t want them to feel alone anymore. Remind them that you want to help them.
If the wounds are severe or the self-harm has been extensive, take them to a hospital where they can receive medical care for the wounds and can have their mental health needs assessed.
Find a therapist with experience in self-harm and dialectical behavior therapy. Therapy should be weekly and should include parent education and training.
Remove all sharp objects from their room and bathroom – razors, pencil sharpeners, sharp art supplies, needles. Create a check-out plan for razors when teens want to shave.
Find support for yourself. You can’t carry the weight of this news/process alone. Model getting support for yourself to your kids!
By Jessica Pierce, LMHC – 4/4/2024
Hello all! Counselor Lyndsey Stubenbort, LMHC here. When we think of February we think of my birthday!!!! 🎂🎉 😉 ha ha, just kidding, we think of Valentines Day and the love or disdain we may have for the so called “holiday”. No matter how you feel about the consumerism surrounding February 14th, the truth remains that at our core we all have a desire to be loved and to KNOW that we are loved.
So here is a little challenge for you- starting tomorrow 2/1/24 until Valentines Day, I encourage you to write 1 thing per day that you love about your child (or even your spouse) and then post it to their bedroom door or bathroom mirror. At the end of the 2 weeks they will have 14 things that you love and admire or appreciate about them to fill their heart (or “love tanks”) up.
With all the hard things our kids (or spouses) can face in a day and all the yuckiness that life this side of Heaven brings, here is a simple but impactful way that you can love your people well. Simply cut a heart shape out of any paper, buy a pack of doilies or even use a post it note or whatever you have lying around. Then write one thing you love each day. Don’t stress, just do it!!
This will mean a lot especially to those whose “love language” is “words of affirmation”, but even your grumpy teens will feel and appreciate this love (whether they tell you or not).
God tells us to “Love one another as I have loved you.” So shout it from the rooftops (or tape it to their door- 😉) but whatever you do, don’t let this occasion pass you by!!
By Lyndsey Stubenbort, LMHCÂ – 2/1/2024